I am sharing a piece of my story on how one can make a choice to live the life when calamities fall on them. Is a choice really!
Are Calamities Bad? Before today, I believe calamities or trials are bad, very bad impact on my life. They are killing me, killing me. Softly. Especially the hardest one … or the most difficult yet to come? [ sho sho sho go away evil thoughts! think positive please … my angel whispering to my heart, MasyaAllah La haulawaquata illa billa, Tabarakallah ] When I think from that perspective, I don’t think I could continue living … how could not I become devastated when there is no light of hope? or the slightest light that leads to hope?
Why did I choose to change the perspective on Calamities? After sometimes, debating with my inner self, I started to alter the perspective on how to view all the disasters that occurred in my life. Because after all, in anything that I do, I have choices to make. I can choose to continue to suffer in this short life if I choose that killing perspective–calamities are evil. The biggest problem with accepting that view, my brain slowly [or is it my heart? Or my soul? to be accurate?] shutdown to choices that I could make. Opportunities do not exist in this view. I know it sounds crazy to you. The heavier the calamities, the faster my brain or my soul shut itself down, closing all my views to doors, shutting the lights of help and hope as well as the light of promising future. And then I become numb. That how one’s perspective or worldview toward life are a critical savior to a happy life.
The Wake-Up Call! After endless struggles of two years, my soul woke up. That was after my soul was floating to a far far away place. I felt I was not able to touch the ground of reality anymore. I had an empty brain for the future. I lived only at the moment. Everyday. Only at the moment. One day at a time. This ‘soul-floating’ went on for months. Months. Almost two years. I have tried to explain what was going on with myself to all my close friends. None except one friend who understood what was going with me. She explained to me spiritually. She has helped me out from the distance while I was in Ames and she was in my home country. We are separated by thousands of miles away. Her arguments make sense. She suggested several strategies for me to do daily. Eventually, in a month, I was able to connect with my soul, and then I connect my soul to reality and my brain to the future. It was an unbelievable experience, a painful one that drained my soul. However, a priceless one!
Being A Grateful Person Somehow! However, I’m grateful that Allah has chosen me to experience that, otherwise, I will not understand how a person falls into depression and coming out from it. I said to myself never being a judgemental person to anyone surrounding me. When I was at my low point of life, many many people were judgmental to my condition. I was unable to explain my conditions according to the language that is understood by many. I agree with wise people say, if you want to get to know your real friends or kind souls, wait when you’re at the lowest. At this very lowest point, you look up on them, and you see who they are at heart!
The New Perspective on Calamities. Since that enlightenment from my friend, I change my perspective towards what it means to me the “Calamities.” Simply put, calamities, are a direct coaching and training from Allah Azzawajalla to engage me as a life long learner. Calamities are only temporary epochs in my life. The content is with a new knowledge, new feelings of humility or gratitude, and a new skill that are beneficial for my future adventure. All lessons from Allah are orchestrated into the experiential learning, and all of them are problem-based learning. I will not die because of the calamities. Only death has no solution, so surely calamities have solutions. It’s a matter of time. Right, time heals. And also it’s a matter of strategies and solutions that I use. These life lessons are not only meant to update my knowledge and wisdom on something but also they strengthen my spirituality with Allah Subhanawata’alla in connection to humility and gratitude feelings and life pursuits.
Stay Alert. Allah will not terminate HIS lesson until I comprehend it in the way HE wants me to be.
Ya Allah. May Allah grants me the knowledge of understanding and practice what I have learned. Amiin Ya Allah, Amiin Ya Rabb. Barakallah fi kum.