Jika kamu dikecewakan …

Jika kamu dikecewakan datangilah Allah Azawajalla segera. Hanya Allah lah sahaja yang berkuasa menghilangkannya. Kerana Allah lah sahaja yang ada penawarnya.

Jangan tunggu. Jangan berlengah-lengah. Jangan terus tinggal dalam gua kekecewaanmu. Sebaliknya, sempurnakanlah perasaan kecewamu itu dengan kembali kepada Allah Azawajalla. Pulangkanlah kekecewaan mu itu pada penciptanya, Allah Azawajalla. Bagaimana? Munajat lah dengan Allah dalam solat-solatmu dan doa-doamu terutamanya satu pertiga malam. Dan juga basahkan lidah dan bibirmu dengar zikrullah. Allah mendengar rintihan hatimu dan tidak akan ada satupun akan terlepas dan disia-siakanNYA.

Kamu tidak boleh terus kecewa dan bersedih dengan sesuatu atau seseorang penyebab kepada kekecewaan dan kesedihanmu. Mengapa? Awas! Ia akan mengundang kecelakaan besar terhadap dirimu! Bagaimana? Perasaanmu itu akan terus membara membara dan membesar dengan maraknya. Dan akhirnya, hatimu yang kecewa dan sedih itu akan beransur-ansur beralih kepada kebencian! Akibatnya dirimu akan selalu hidup diselubungi amarah ini. Seluruh energimu akan dimagnetkan sehingga tidak tersisapun kepada amarah ini. Tidakkah ini satu kehidupan yang sia-sia?

Mintalah Allah menjaga dirimu dan seluruh kehidupanmu sejak kamu diciptakan Allah dalam rahim ibumu, sehingga ketika ini, dan sehinggalah hari Kiamat. Mintalah pertolongan dan kekuatan dari Allah untuk tinggalkan kekecewaan dan kesedihanmu serta segala punca-puncanya itu. Dan secepat mungkin terus berfikir semuanya itu hanya ujian semata-mata dari Allah Ta’ala. Jadi dengan rahmat dan redha Allah maka akan terpadamlah perasaan kecewa, kesedihan mahupun kemarahan itu dalam dirimu, dan akhirnya perlahan-lahan ketenangan akan menyelinap ke dalam hatimu seterusnya memenuhi ruangan hatimu dan akhirnya bertahta di hatimu. InsyaAllah.

Berusahalah! Kerana dirimu sangat berharga. Setiap detik masa kehidupan yang berlalu tidak mungkin boleh dikembalikan semula.

Subhanallah. Allahuakbar. Alhamdulillah

Bacaan tambahan: Meraih ketenangan hati yang hakiki https://muslim.or.id/5389-meraih-ketenangan-hati-yang-hakiki.html

Perbaiki Akhlak ku Ya Allah

أَعُوْذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِِْ

“Aku berlindung kepada Allah dari syaitan yang terkutuk”

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang

اللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِ مُحَمَّدٍ

سُبْحَانَ اللّهِ  – والْحَمْدُللّهِ –  وَ لا اِلهَ اِلَّا اللّهُ  – وَ اللّهُ اَكْبَرُلاَ حَوْلَ وَلاَ قُوَّةَ إِلاَّ بالله العلي العظيم

Maha Suci Allah, segala puji bagi Allah, tidak ada tuhan yang berhak disembah kecuali Allah, dan Allah Maha Besar Tiada daya dan tiada kekuatan melainkan dengan pertolongan Allah Yang Maha Tinggi dan Maha Agung

Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, sesungguhnya aku ini insan yang keras, maka lunakkanlah aku

Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, sesungguhnya aku ini insan yang lemah, maka kuatkanlah aku

Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, sesungguhnya aku ini insan yang lemah, maka kuatkanlah aku

Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, sesungguhnya aku ini insan yang lemah, maka kuatkanlah aku

Ya Allah, Ya Rabb, sesungguhnya aku ini insan yang bakhil, maka jadikanlah aku insan yang dermawan

اَللَّهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى أَزْوَاجِهِ وَذُرِّيَّتِهِ، كَمَا صَلَّيْتَ عَلَى آلِ إِبْرَاهِيْمَ، وَبَارِكْ عَلَى مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى أَزْوَاجِهِ وَذُرِّيَّتِهِ، كَمَا بَارَكْتَ عَلَى آلِ إِبْرَاهِيْمَ إِنَّكَ حَمِيْدُ مَجِيْدٌ

“Ya Allah berikanlah rahmat kepada Muhammad, kepada para istrinya dan anak keturunannya sebagaimana Engkau telah memberikan rahmat kepada keluarga Ibrahim; dan berikanlah karunia kepada Muhammad kepada para istrinya dan anak keturunannya sebagaimana Engkau telah memberikan karunia kepada keluarga Ibrahim, sesungguhnya Engkau Maha Terpuji lagi Maha Agung”

سُبْحَانَكَ اللَّهُمَّ وَبِحَمْدِكَ أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ أَسْتَغْفِرُكَ وَأَتُوبُ إِلَيْكَ

“Maha Suci Engkau Ya Allah & segala puji bagi-Mu, aku bersaksi bahwa tiada Tuhan selain Engkau, aku memohon ampunan dan bertaubat pada-Mu.”

آمِيْن يَا رَبَّ العَالَمِيْنَ

” Kabulkanlah Wahai Ya Rabb semesta Alam “

Don’t Worry Failing!

Be brave to face the reality of riding storms in your life. Successful people like Canfield, Edison, and Kiyosaki, always articulate positively about failingCanfield views failing is an opportunity to make attempts. Edison believes that failures are connected to how close we’re to succeed.  And interestingly, Kiyosaki sees failure as an essential part of the learning curve, thus failing is needed to become a learned person. Our experiences talk louder than these words. Don’t worry about failing, keep trying! Keep progressing! Success is just around the corner.

 

Don’t worry about failures,

Worry about the chances you miss

when you don’t even try.

 by  Jack Canfield

 

Many of life’s failures are people

who did not realize how close they were to success

when they gave up

by Thomas Edison

 

Successful people don’t fear failure

but understand that it’s necessary to learn and grow from

by Robert Kiyosaki

Milikmu Ketetapan Allah

Tiada yang Allah tetapkan untuk mu akan menjadi milik orang lain. 

Alhamdulillah.

Jadi usah bimbang tentang rezkimu. Semuanya Allah sudah tentukan, sekiranya ingin perbaikinya, minta lah pada Allah. Berdoalah. Merendah diri meminta pada Allah yang SATU. Allah yang menciptakan mu. Allah yang menanugerahkan padamu rezky. Allah yang mentadbir keseluruhan kehidupan mu dan makhluk-makhluk lain dan apa sahaja yang berada dilangit dan di bumi dan di antara kedua-duanya. Janji Allah benar.

Jangan minta dari sesuatu atau seseorang selain Allah. Itu syirik. Allah Maha Penyayang dan Pengasih. Tetapi hukuman Allah itu berat. Janji Allah benar.

Walk the Journey*

“When life gives you lemon, make lemonade”

Relapse. Something that I’m struggling with. Today, yesterday and the other day, relapse knock me off again. If this happens I’m out of spirit to go to work. I feel drain to drag myself to work and to do anything. Stuck in the house, in bed, under the blanket. Soo gloomy feeling surrounding me. The feeling that is hard to describe. Only those who experience depression is able to feel it. Why can’t I departed with the blanket? Dark room stays like that even though, the night long gone. The sun is shining bright outside. 

Conversing with myself. Shucks! The effective strategy dealing with my relapse has past due! Is void for now. Again, I have to look for alternative strategies to deal with it. See, it is not that you don’t realize when you experienced shut-down. Perhaps this is just a minor shutdown. Praying so hard. 

Walk the journey. One thing that I want to do now enduring this short relapse is W.R.I.T.E! Yes, write. Write my brain out. Write my heart out. Write my frustration down. Write what’s bottled in me for the past months. 

Writing. At home. On this small varnished wooden dinner table. Ceiling fan is making noise. Unbelievably, delightful chirping of birds outside the sliding door add on to the squeaking fan. These are clutters of disturbance. Nevertheless, I’m not disturbed by them. Possessed in the desire to be heard. I’m tapping the keyboard a way, letting what ever cross my mind building the words, sentences and paragraphs expressing my thoughts, feelings and despair. I’m trying to practice positive thoughts in walking this journey. I love this one phrase “When life gives you lemon, make lemonade”. My encounter with this phrase in the most unexpected spot, the cheap grocery bag. This phrase moves my heart, and find its way naturally into my soul.

What am I doing actually through this writing? Attempting writing like a pro. Ghezz. Sometimes I feel like, ‘How the hell good writers put together words to create unforgettable sentences that trigger goosebumps and awe in you? Why can’t I write the same? What sorts of talents they have? Is it possible I develop the talents too? How do you create develop your talent to become a prolific writer. I love this word – prolific writer. Perhaps walking this journey, I’m able to transform my escapism to depression relapse into endless experiments to develop my talent as prolific writer? Why NOT since a wise man will react the same to life challenge ‘ When life gives you lemon, make lemonade? ‘

How do you develop your talent in writing? 


*This is a message to myself. I know it’s funny. But it is essential for me to beat relapse, thus, progress. 

Why I Write My Voice

Prelude

I’m inspired to share my reasons to write after reading ‘Why I Write‘ by Hira N.      Her truthful reasons echoes in my brain, Why I Write?

I asked my inner self repeatedly Why I Write?

I felt seeing myself going into my brain rummaging through every cell of it searching for the reasons. I am not ashamed to confess that I am a survivor from a narcissistic relationship. The relationship that was not long. It stands for just 6 months. God Bless me for not testing me longer than that. Alhamdulillah.

Nevertheless,  the damage of that six months to my brain is tremendous! This is in particular when I was at the most critical point of finishing my Ph.D., writing. Yes, writing. When writing is the most critical skill that I need. and where I needed my thinking with clarity!!!

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Why do I write? Why you write?

Why I Write?

First and foremost, I write for therapeutic reasons.

I write to control my brain from wandering everywhere. I realize that when you write –you’re writing about something, you need to stay focus to write on what you say that you’re going to write. So by doing that you train and refrained your brain from going off-track. I believe writing works for my brain as it increases the ‘pay attention time’ to say focus. Good writing needs clarity in presenting thoughts and ideas as well as arguments. Good writing putting ideas until one will arrive at a logical flow. So this requires my brain to truly stay focus. The struggle is real and it deprives a tremendous energy of my brain.

What happens to my feeling at this time? Well, frankly, writing in not my strength. This is especially when it comes to writing in a language that is not my mother tongue. This is my major setback.

I write to keep up with my hibernating brain. I write so that I don’t lose my flow of writing in my dissertation. I write to express things that I can’t express verbally. I write to think clearly. I write to verify things that I’m uncertain about that are thumping in my heart. I write to win the battle with the monster of doubtful. Doubtful feelings kill my passion and progress.

Second, I write to re-learn about myself. I write to remind myself of who I am. The crazy experience with the narcissist slowly kills my connection with my inner self. How? It attacks my identity, my confidence, my life principals and my core values as well as your wholebeing. Through writing I re-enter into my thoughts and feelings to hunt my old self. I found my old self buried deep under layers of lies, fake accusations and distorted reality as well as evil emotional burdens and fragility. I found her and I pulled her out and cleanse her from all the burdens and fragility. Alhamdulillah. Yeah, it is the feeling of finding my way home. Because of that I write so I feel good of ‘coming home’. Why I feel good? I pour out the boxes of thoughts with ‘the other person’ distorted identity and principals and values that are incorporated by forced into my inner being that dragged me to the confusion state of who I am, suffocated and unheard. Yes, and I write to be heard. To be heard by myself. I want to hear news from the inner self me!

Third,  I write to learn. In the recent years I’ve discovered that writing is one of the effective ways to learn. Well, I have to dig out my brain as well as planted new knowledge to better understand on something. I write to remember new things that I learned. I write to expand ideas and thoughts. I write to get facts connected. I write for sense-making. This purpose also helps me identify the gaps in my understanding that I have on the pursuit of understanding on certain subjects.

Fourth, I write to share and relate to others: I write to share my deepest pain. I write to relate to others who have similarly experienced. I found that when I can relate to other experiences that similar, I feel the burden lifted. I feel that I’m not alone. Normal people do walking rough path journey. And most importantly, I learnt about how to go about to overcome their challenges to face the same experiences. How they react to address the challenge. This is gold. Like one proverb say, you can change lemon to lemonade! That will make your day!

Fifth,  I write as a reminder and guide to walk through the turbulence. From this perspective, I see writing as a savior tool to remind me. I always forgot where I have been in my life after the life turbulence. I thought I walked out from it safely. And never, ever bump into it. The mistakes. The killing pains. The silly things. But NO, the turbulence never forgets me. Sometimes I get caught again with the same trap. And then again walking the mess, these printed words of the past reminds me, guide me, and encourage me to walk through the past again. Last time I made, God Willing, I will make it through again, and again.

Sixth, I write to inspire others that they can do it too! I write as I want to make writing as a habit and turning it into a hobby. I write to touch my inner feelings and deep thoughts. I write with my feelings. I write my thoughts. I write to think. I write to validate.  I write to learn. I write to persuade. I write to reach others who might have undergone similar paths of life. I write to know that I’m not different than other people out here. I write to say to others that you’re alone. I write to tell others that I can do it and so can you. I write to share that to know whether the pain in my heart is natural. I write to recreate. I write to get to know myself. I write to make new friends with same boats.

Seventh, I write for some many reasons! Alright, I write so many other reasons! I write an art of sing a song.  I write in pain sometimes in frustration. I write to learn to be truthful about my feelings. I write to learn to be articulated with my thoughts. I write to reflect.  I write to rewired my brain. I write to rationalize myself. I write when I’m angry. I write to delay my outburst when I’m angry. I have endless of reasons to dive into writing.

Finally, as I’ve declare earlier when I opened this window on Why I Write, I write for therapeutic reasons.

Can you relate to anyone of them? If not What are your reasons to write?

Personalized Notes

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Prelude! Months ago, I came across an article about the power of personalized notes from a teacher on one of her students, saving a soul of wanting to end her life. This true story deeply touched my heart and strongly engraved in my memory. Why? I identified three reasons why these Personalized Notes matter to me. First and foremost, I am also an educator like Darass, the young teacher in this story. This story makes me realized that, in touch with a caring soul and act on it, one could be saving other peoples’ lives. Second, as an educator myself, I have endless opportunities to meet young people who hail from various walks of life with a broad range of academic performance. People from the academic world, sometimes,  extremely care only the academic performance of students and the performance of educators. They overlooked that students nor educators are robots. All of us have lives. We have ups and downs. When we’re in a good life, we love to share. But when we’re in the down life we (might) need help or at least kind ears to share the story without prejudice or a pat on the shoulder. Third and finally, I am a human too. Sometimes, I do feel that life is hard to bear but chose to keep it a secret and prison myself in a damp dungeon. However, at the same time, I also wish that a right person–someone with a genuine kind soul, would reach out and pull me out from the self-prison.

What is Personalized Notes? Personalized notes is a tool in the Interpersonal Communication that could help to facilitate one to materialize his/her self-transformation. Why these Personalized Notes special? These notes are unique to learners. According to Darass (in the story), ‘… how each of us needs to realize that every human being is unique.’ These notes contain heartfelt messages how much he/she is loved, missed and appreciated. Also, they could also contain heartfelt messages on the strengths and potentials for successes in life.

As an educator, I believe this tool is a treasure to inspire a learner to realize his/her potential. Sometimes, young learners need a little bit push from their educators, like “you can do this, I believe in you.”  Since educators are authority figures and role models in young learners, words from them–spoken or written, are significant to them. Every word utters from educators’ lips or pen or keyboard matters to these young learners.The same way, one or more words inspire them to make achievements, ugly chosen words could tarnish or kill their spirit.

What Personalized Notes can do to learners? Crafting personalized notes are meant to be inspirational and motivational strategies that promote positive self-esteem development in learners. These notes contain heartfelt messages that trigger and nurture deeper awareness of how important they are, their contributions’ matters, their strengths make a difference, as well as their future potentials and achievements. These handwritten messages are believed would be able to boost the self-esteem and fuel energy for persons to strive for their future success. Moreover, for those who are in a deep struggle with conflicts, these messages would be able to gently reach out to a ‘drowned person’ to swim up to the surface of hope.

 

bee-inspired

 

How do these Personalized Notes work? These heartfelt messages must be handwritten in StickOn Note for instance,  by the educator to give a powerful personalized effect. But most importantly, before that, the educator needs to personally get to know each of their students in a meaningful way.

When to hand in the Personalized Notes to your learners? Knowing the best times to give the notes are also essential to fully realize the power of Personalized Notes. The educator can write the notes to a student in crisis as what Darass has done. Darass also handed her personalized notes before her students taking their final exam. In addition to what Darass has practice, I would say, regular feedbacks on the students’ performance before they sit for their final exams, would also be one of the best times to pass the personalized notes.

In general, I believe that ‘the when question’ is referring to at any points that an educator can convince or persuade the learners to change or consolidate their decision-makings for positive outcomes in their lives. Departing from this statement, I believe academic performance is not the only thing that matters learners or students lives.

How I could make a change with Personalized Notes? I will craft personalized notes to my learners and those who I care and love, InsyaAllah. I am going to write them messages that trigger their imagination of their successful future and nurture their strengths to overcoming barriers in learning and struggling life. I would never know whom lives I would be able to save unless I commit myself to this simple gesture, writing a Personalized Notes to someone lives that matters.

The Art of Happiness

Happiness is An Art (Al-Qarni, 2005). It is important that at any point in life one has to achieve happiness. In the state of happiness, one operates with a clear state of mind and it allows one to be productive.

 

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Why Al-Qarni identified Happiness is An Art? How one can learn to be happy? After reading Al-Qarni, I found three ways that one can learn to be happy. The same means can be exercised to preserve that state of happiness.

First, happiness is an art that needs to be learned. One has to develop the ability to endure and to cope with any situation is a the fundamental principle for this art of learning. The heart can’t be swayed nor be controlled by big calamities and challenges in life or by insignificant trifles. In simple words, one needs to self-train to be patient and forbearing. In long run, she/he would easier to bear and manage the hardships or calamities. In addition, Al-Qarni also emphasized that a purify heart facilitates the development of this ability and coping mechanism.  One needs to pursue this exercise in life until the ability to endure and the coping mechanism become her/his second nature.

Second, happiness is a state of mind. Bridle one thought and restrain it. This is also one of the fundamental principles for the art of learned happiness. Al-Qarni warned that if 0ne let his/her mind to wander as it wish, then the mind will run wild and control his/her. By the way Al-Qarni explained, I have this understanding that our brain–our mind, has its own life and its own wants. Thus, we should have control to our brain and don’t let our brain control us. If we failed to do so, as described by Al-Qarni, our brain will walk us to the past woes, remind of misfortunes, images of past difficulties, images of uncertainties of future that is so frightening etc. All of these thoughts could shaken our beings and flare our thoughts.

Third, happiness is the ability of a person to value life according to its merit and worth. Basicly Al-Qarni said that life is imperfection. Misfortunes, calamities, challenges, insignificant trifles are all natural life events equal to happiness, opportunities, achievements etc. One cannot remove oneself from all remnants of grief, as they are natural life events. One way to ‘turn-away’ is to learn value them for its merit and worth. Re-label and reframe them in positive outlooks in our life context helps use to value them for its merit and worth. Since we’re in the belief that happiness is acquired by the practice of learning, Al-Qarni said, happiness is acquired by assuming it. He suggested a simple method, practice happiness through your lips! I mean practice happiness by learning to smile. Make smiling your second nature. Constantly smiling. Find reasons to bring genuine smiles to your lips. Any reasons will do. Even though it’s hard (I know, I hardly can deny this), one has to force oneself to smile in every situation. While I’m writing this, I’m smiling. Somehow, with the smile in my lips, I found my heart and mind are uplifted. Surprisingly without any reason too. It works for me!

In conclusion, a state of happiness is an essential condition for one to have a clear mind and productive regardless of life situations. Don’t take heart with life situations, they are all natural events to reality. Three means to gain the Art of Happiness suggested by Al-Qarni (2005) that the state of happiness could be learned, one has to control and manage his/her mind and gain the ability to value life according to its merit and worth.


 

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Future

 

Your past does not define your future. Keep working on your dreams. Happy New Year!

 

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