Don’t Worry Failing!

Be brave to face the reality of riding storms in your life. Successful people like Canfield, Edison, and Kiyosaki, always articulate positively about failingCanfield views failing is an opportunity to make attempts. Edison believes that failures are connected to how close we’re to succeed.  And interestingly, Kiyosaki sees failure as an essential part of the learning curve, thus failing is needed to become a learned person. Our experiences talk louder than these words. Don’t worry about failing, keep trying! Keep progressing! Success is just around the corner.


Don’t worry about failures,

Worry about the chances you miss

when you don’t even try.

 by  Jack Canfield


Many of life’s failures are people

who did not realize how close they were to success

when they gave up

by Thomas Edison


Successful people don’t fear failure

but understand that it’s necessary to learn and grow from

by Robert Kiyosaki

Why I Write My Voice


I’m inspired to share my reasons to write after reading ‘Why I Write‘ by Hira N.      Her truthful reasons echoes in my brain, Why I Write?

I asked my inner self repeatedly Why I Write?

I felt seeing myself going into my brain rummaging through every cell of it searching for the reasons. I am not ashamed to confess that I am a survivor from a narcissistic relationship. The relationship that was not long. It stands for just 6 months. God Bless me for not testing me longer than that. Alhamdulillah.

Nevertheless,  the damage of that six months to my brain is tremendous! This is in particular when I was at the most critical point of finishing my Ph.D., writing. Yes, writing. When writing is the most critical skill that I need. and where I needed my thinking with clarity!!!

Why do I write? Why you write?

Why I Write?

First and foremost, I write for therapeutic reasons.

I write to control my brain from wandering everywhere. I realize that when you write –you’re writing about something, you need to stay focus to write on what you say that you’re going to write. So by doing that you train and refrained your brain from going off-track. I believe writing works for my brain as it increases the ‘pay attention time’ to say focus. Good writing needs clarity in presenting thoughts and ideas as well as arguments. Good writing putting ideas until one will arrive at a logical flow. So this requires my brain to truly stay focus. The struggle is real and it deprives a tremendous energy of my brain.

What happens to my feeling at this time? Well, frankly, writing in not my strength. This is especially when it comes to writing in a language that is not my mother tongue. This is my major setback.

I write to keep up with my hibernating brain. I write so that I don’t lose my flow of writing in my dissertation. I write to express things that I can’t express verbally. I write to think clearly. I write to verify things that I’m uncertain about that are thumping in my heart. I write to win the battle with the monster of doubtful. Doubtful feelings kill my passion and progress.

Second, I write to re-learn about myself. I write to remind myself of who I am. The crazy experience with the narcissist slowly kills my connection with my inner self. How? It attacks my identity, my confidence, my life principals and my core values as well as your wholebeing. Through writing I re-enter into my thoughts and feelings to hunt my old self. I found my old self buried deep under layers of lies, fake accusations and distorted reality as well as evil emotional burdens and fragility. I found her and I pulled her out and cleanse her from all the burdens and fragility. Alhamdulillah. Yeah, it is the feeling of finding my way home. Because of that I write so I feel good of ‘coming home’. Why I feel good? I pour out the boxes of thoughts with ‘the other person’ distorted identity and principals and values that are incorporated by forced into my inner being that dragged me to the confusion state of who I am, suffocated and unheard. Yes, and I write to be heard. To be heard by myself. I want to hear news from the inner self me!

Third,  I write to learn. In the recent years I’ve discovered that writing is one of the effective ways to learn. Well, I have to dig out my brain as well as planted new knowledge to better understand on something. I write to remember new things that I learned. I write to expand ideas and thoughts. I write to get facts connected. I write for sense-making. This purpose also helps me identify the gaps in my understanding that I have on the pursuit of understanding on certain subjects.

Fourth, I write to share and relate to others: I write to share my deepest pain. I write to relate to others who have similarly experienced. I found that when I can relate to other experiences that similar, I feel the burden lifted. I feel that I’m not alone. Normal people do walking rough path journey. And most importantly, I learnt about how to go about to overcome their challenges to face the same experiences. How they react to address the challenge. This is gold. Like one proverb say, you can change lemon to lemonade! That will make your day!

Fifth,  I write as a reminder and guide to walk through the turbulence. From this perspective, I see writing as a savior tool to remind me. I always forgot where I have been in my life after the life turbulence. I thought I walked out from it safely. And never, ever bump into it. The mistakes. The killing pains. The silly things. But NO, the turbulence never forgets me. Sometimes I get caught again with the same trap. And then again walking the mess, these printed words of the past reminds me, guide me, and encourage me to walk through the past again. Last time I made, God Willing, I will make it through again, and again.

Sixth, I write to inspire others that they can do it too! I write as I want to make writing as a habit and turning it into a hobby. I write to touch my inner feelings and deep thoughts. I write with my feelings. I write my thoughts. I write to think. I write to validate.  I write to learn. I write to persuade. I write to reach others who might have undergone similar paths of life. I write to know that I’m not different than other people out here. I write to say to others that you’re alone. I write to tell others that I can do it and so can you. I write to share that to know whether the pain in my heart is natural. I write to recreate. I write to get to know myself. I write to make new friends with same boats.

Seventh, I write for some many reasons! Alright, I write so many other reasons! I write an art of sing a song.  I write in pain sometimes in frustration. I write to learn to be truthful about my feelings. I write to learn to be articulated with my thoughts. I write to reflect.  I write to rewired my brain. I write to rationalize myself. I write when I’m angry. I write to delay my outburst when I’m angry. I have endless of reasons to dive into writing.

Finally, as I’ve declare earlier when I opened this window on Why I Write, I write for therapeutic reasons.

Can you relate to anyone of them? If not What are your reasons to write?

Truest Sentence

When I woke up that day, the words of Ernest Hemingway called for me to take up my pen again. He said


I agree with him that when I write one truest sentence that I found in my truth, then words continue to flow on their own to narrate the whole story.

The watercolor vector is Designed by

What are you doing Now?

Are you still there? And What are you doing now? Amazing isn’t it 🙂

I am digging to the bottom of the pit of power analysis on to justify the practical significance of my study. The truth, I found it’s kind of weird when the scholarly journal articles that I’ve read didn’t report the effect size of their findings. What it means to me? I do not have a point of reference how much effect size typically similar studies like mine are detected in the field. I am still thinking on how best to about it – to go around the outskirt ? or to go right through it? Still thinking, and hope to come out with the most logical decision without hurting anybody in the end.




The watercolor vector is Designed by



Speak truthfully

Even it makes you bleeds

Let your faith lead the way





Find time they say

Find humility in you, they say too

Self-reflect the day

Find time they say

Before sleep consumes you

Self-reflect the day

Forgive those who wronged you, they say

Perceived those people have misinterpreted you, they comfort you

That’s only way that you will go far in life, they assure you

And I say back, why not if that could save my soul




Reality is imperfection

Strive your best anyway

Make progress every day

Finished, but not perfect

It’s alright, It’s okay

Give your best

Finished but not perfect

That will do

That is reality



Aisya is missing home!

I am not writing, Still not

I am not writing, still not 

Only from my heart I’m feeling

I am writing, touching the sky

To say what I really meant

Why things didn’t turn out like …

As they should, like they’re expected

I am not writing, still not 

They say when you can’t write, Read!

I read, I read, I read

I read draft, I read books

Yet, my thought is dead, dead

Nothing I read, churn into ideas

Nothing I read, extending the meanings

I am not writing, still not 

Tired trying, I switch off lights

Calling sleep to claim my eyes

Perhaps, after my brains have rested

My thoughts will switch the lights!

Many colorful lights with spanning meanings!

Calling sleep to claim my eyes

I’m going to write, I will

My thoughts will switch the lights. My heart will touch the sky

AisyaUmaira is  My Pen Name. Ames in Winter. Expressing my thoughts while listening to A Closing Statement by Dexter Britain.

That One Leaf …

That One Leaf whispers to me loudly in silence the importance of perseverance in all seasons. There are things in life that are best not to be questioned but accept just as they are. And most importantly walk calmly through the fogs of seasons until you totally arrive at a clear end.

Sometimes I feel these two feet of mine are so heavy to keep stepping forward. That is a normal, just like Newton’s theory says, … movements causing friction in between different surfaces particularly the rough ones. Whenever that happens, I tell myself, it’s okay to take a rest.  If I can’t take an hour, I can take 30 minutes. If I can’t take 30 minutes break, I can take 10 minutes. If I still can’t still take that 10 minutes, I can make a second! Whenever I pause, the inner voice endlessly whispering Keep Walking, Keep Walking, Keep Walking, I’m making good progress! 



Lessons from nature. Stay calm and embrace all seasons.


Nur Ilahi Pada Langit & Bumi

Segala ayat-ayat suci Al-Quran yang Allah turunkan kepada manusia dalam bentuk penerangan dan contoh-contoh kejadian umat yang terdahulu sebagai pelajaran kepada orang-orang bertakwa.

Di antara ayat-ayat suci Al-Quran yang menarik hati saya dan ingin saya kongsikan di sini adalah dari Surah 24 An Nuur (Cahaya), ayat 35 :

Allah (Pemberi) cahaya (kepada) langit dan bumi. Perumpaan cahaya Allah, adalah seperti sebuah lubang yang tidak tembus (1040), yang di dalamnya ada pelita besar. Pelita itu di dalam kaca (dan) kaca itu seakan-akan bintang (yang bercahaya) seperti mutiara, yang dinyalakan dengan minyak dari pohon yang banyak berkahnya, (yaitu) pohon zaitun yang tumbuh tidak di sebelah timur (sesuatu) dan tidak pula di sebelah barat(nya) (1041), yang minyaknya (sahaja) hampir-hampir menerangi, walaupun tidak disentuh api. Cahaya di atas cahaya (berlapis-lapis), Allah membimbing kepada cahaya-Nya siapa yang Dia kehendaki, dan Allah memperbuat perumpamaan-perumpamaan bagi manusia, dan Allah Maha Mengetahui segala sesuatu.

(1040): ‘lubang yang tidak tembus’ (misykat), bererti satu lubang pada di dinding rumah yang tidak tembus sampai ke sebelahnya, biasanya digunakan untuk tempat lampu, atau barang-barang lain.

(1041): pohon zaitun itu tumbuh di puncak bukit ia dapat sinar matahari baik di waktu matahari terbit maupun di waktu matahari akan terbenam, sehingga pohonnya subut dan buahnya menghasilkan minyak yang baik




Allah merupakan sumber cahaya kepada cahaya. Ayat 35 Surah 24 An Nuur (Cahaya) ini memberi gambaran tentang kekuatan sifat cahaya Allah (Nur Illahi) atau taufik dan hidayah Allah memberi bimbingan ke jalan Islam apabila meresapi para insan yang terpilih. Ini juga mengambarkan keimanan meresap ke dalam qalbu para insan terpilih ini dan memurnikannya. Permurnian hati insan yang telah menerima  Nur Illahi perumpamaannya seperti minyak zaitun yang terbaik menjadikan kalbu-kalbu tersebut jernih dan bersinar cahaya iman yang berlapis-lapis mengusir kegelapan (dosa dan noda).

Title in English: Allah is the light (Nur Illahi) to the Heavens and Earth

Text in English: Allah The Creator is light of light. The rest of the text will be interpreted later, InsyaAllah.